2016 NWLA Tournament State Rankings
Criteria considered: famous residents, NWLA leagues, NWLA tournament teams, famous shows set there (not movies because movies are dumb), and overall goodness.
10. Wisconsin
Demonym: Wisconsonite
NWLA Leagues: Brew City, Mequon
NWLA Tournament Teams: BCW
Famous Residents: Mark Ruffalo, Willam Dufoe, Chris Farley
Famous TV Shows: Happy Days, Luverne and Shirley
Overall Grade: F
I don't even know where to begin here. Just thinking about the fact that I need to drive six hours through this poor excuse for a state is enough to make me sick to my stomach. If it's not apparent, I have a heavy bias against Wisconsonites. Most of the ones I've met in this tournament are all sexy and nice but man does the average Wisconsonite burn my grilled cheese. Hate their sports teams, hate their wooden road sign posts, hate their subways. The saving grace for Wisconsin is the fact that Chris Farley and Mike Boyles are from there and that's it. Eeew.
NWLA Leagues: Brew City, Mequon
NWLA Tournament Teams: BCW
Famous Residents: Mark Ruffalo, Willam Dufoe, Chris Farley
Famous TV Shows: Happy Days, Luverne and Shirley
Overall Grade: F
I don't even know where to begin here. Just thinking about the fact that I need to drive six hours through this poor excuse for a state is enough to make me sick to my stomach. If it's not apparent, I have a heavy bias against Wisconsonites. Most of the ones I've met in this tournament are all sexy and nice but man does the average Wisconsonite burn my grilled cheese. Hate their sports teams, hate their wooden road sign posts, hate their subways. The saving grace for Wisconsin is the fact that Chris Farley and Mike Boyles are from there and that's it. Eeew.
9. Florida
Demonym: Floridian
NWLA Leagues: Tampa Bay, Dade Wiffle Ball
NWLA Tournament Teams: TBW
Famous Residents: Flo Rida, Ariana Grande, Roman Reigns
Famous TV Shows: CSI: Miami, I Dream of Jeannie
Overall Grade: D
I mean, not only are there dinosaurs roaming aimlessly all around this swamp of a state, but have you ever heard stories about the people? Every time we have a strange story on the morning show I'm on, it's a given that it's coming from Florida. The TBW boys more than make up for all those kinds of people but come one. Dinosaurs.
NWLA Leagues: Tampa Bay, Dade Wiffle Ball
NWLA Tournament Teams: TBW
Famous Residents: Flo Rida, Ariana Grande, Roman Reigns
Famous TV Shows: CSI: Miami, I Dream of Jeannie
Overall Grade: D
I mean, not only are there dinosaurs roaming aimlessly all around this swamp of a state, but have you ever heard stories about the people? Every time we have a strange story on the morning show I'm on, it's a given that it's coming from Florida. The TBW boys more than make up for all those kinds of people but come one. Dinosaurs.
8. Indiana
Demonym: Hoosier
NWLA Leagues: Griffleball, Leroy, ORWBL, Indy Southside
NWLA Tournament Teams: GBL, LWA
Famous Residents: Michael Jackson, Larry Bird, Jim Gaffigan
Famous TV Shows: Parks and Recreation, The Middle
Overall Grade: D+
I'd hardly know that Indiana is a place were it not for Parks and Rec and the fact that we have to drive through it to get to Ohio. All of my memories of Indiana include corn and being way overcharged for a crappy hotel breakfast. It's the birthplace of one of music's greatest icons and I'm sure you've heard a Hoosier brag about that before. It's like how Minnesotans are with Prince. Except Prince is amazing.
NWLA Leagues: Griffleball, Leroy, ORWBL, Indy Southside
NWLA Tournament Teams: GBL, LWA
Famous Residents: Michael Jackson, Larry Bird, Jim Gaffigan
Famous TV Shows: Parks and Recreation, The Middle
Overall Grade: D+
I'd hardly know that Indiana is a place were it not for Parks and Rec and the fact that we have to drive through it to get to Ohio. All of my memories of Indiana include corn and being way overcharged for a crappy hotel breakfast. It's the birthplace of one of music's greatest icons and I'm sure you've heard a Hoosier brag about that before. It's like how Minnesotans are with Prince. Except Prince is amazing.
7. Missouri
Demonym: Missourians
NWLA Leagues: Skibbe, Yellowbatz, SEMOWBL
NWLA Tournament Teams: SWBL
Famous Residents: Mark Twain, John Hamm
Famous TV Shows: Masters of Sex, AfterMASH
Overall Grade: C-
I've been to Missouri once in my life and it was miserable, in terms of weather. I don't honestly understand how people live in that humidity. I had to scrape the bottom of the barrel for shows set in this state, and I was shocked that none of them were about Tom Sawyer (great song, btw.) But what REALLY gets me is that they put VELVEETA ON PIZZA! Velveeta cheese should be outlawed for consumption in this country.
NWLA Leagues: Skibbe, Yellowbatz, SEMOWBL
NWLA Tournament Teams: SWBL
Famous Residents: Mark Twain, John Hamm
Famous TV Shows: Masters of Sex, AfterMASH
Overall Grade: C-
I've been to Missouri once in my life and it was miserable, in terms of weather. I don't honestly understand how people live in that humidity. I had to scrape the bottom of the barrel for shows set in this state, and I was shocked that none of them were about Tom Sawyer (great song, btw.) But what REALLY gets me is that they put VELVEETA ON PIZZA! Velveeta cheese should be outlawed for consumption in this country.
6. Massachusetts
Demonym: Bay Staters
NWLA Leagues: GAWL, Tewksbury,
NWLA Tournament Teams: GAWL
Famous Residents: JFK, John Cena, Mark Wahlberg
Famous TV Shows: Wahlburgers, Dawson's Creek
Overall Grade: C
I don't exactly have a lot to say about this state aside from the fact that its name is impossible to spell so I had to copy and paste it from another website. I have yet to meet the GAWL Stars, which I'm looking forward to, but otherwise: pretty mellow on Mass.
NWLA Leagues: GAWL, Tewksbury,
NWLA Tournament Teams: GAWL
Famous Residents: JFK, John Cena, Mark Wahlberg
Famous TV Shows: Wahlburgers, Dawson's Creek
Overall Grade: C
I don't exactly have a lot to say about this state aside from the fact that its name is impossible to spell so I had to copy and paste it from another website. I have yet to meet the GAWL Stars, which I'm looking forward to, but otherwise: pretty mellow on Mass.
5. Pennsylvania
Demonym: Pennsylvanians
NWLA Leagues: BWBL, SRL, WWF, Ellsworth, Ridley Park, Interstate, Wiff is Life, Westmoreland, MPW,
NWLA Tournament Teams: WWF, BWBL
Famous Residents: Taylor Swift, Kevin Hart
Famous TV Shows: The Office, It's Always Sunny
Overall Grade: C
Okay, we get it. Penn is a wiffleball hotbed. I'm really shocked I've managed to spell the state name correctly thus far so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead and just go with Penn. To be honest, I don't have any legit beef with this state. It was the setting for The Office, and KEvin Hart is from Philly, and that's where Sunny is set. A lot to like about this state from the TV side of things. As for other factors? Meh. I don't really know.
NWLA Leagues: BWBL, SRL, WWF, Ellsworth, Ridley Park, Interstate, Wiff is Life, Westmoreland, MPW,
NWLA Tournament Teams: WWF, BWBL
Famous Residents: Taylor Swift, Kevin Hart
Famous TV Shows: The Office, It's Always Sunny
Overall Grade: C
Okay, we get it. Penn is a wiffleball hotbed. I'm really shocked I've managed to spell the state name correctly thus far so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead and just go with Penn. To be honest, I don't have any legit beef with this state. It was the setting for The Office, and KEvin Hart is from Philly, and that's where Sunny is set. A lot to like about this state from the TV side of things. As for other factors? Meh. I don't really know.
4. Washington, DC
Demonym: Washingtonians
NWLA Leagues: PWL
NWLA Tournament Teams: PWL
Famous Residents: Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Martin Van Buren
Famous TV Shows: Veep, 1600 Penn, other politics shows
Overall Grade: C+
My only knowledge of Washington DC as a city comes from what I've seen in the show Veep and here's what it is: a lot of F-bombs, backstabbing and sweat. Why did they build the capital city of our nation on a swamp? This city/state thing probably deserves a lower grade because it's probably the hub for shay dealing but I remain neutral because of how funny I find Veep. #TeamMeyer
NWLA Leagues: PWL
NWLA Tournament Teams: PWL
Famous Residents: Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Martin Van Buren
Famous TV Shows: Veep, 1600 Penn, other politics shows
Overall Grade: C+
My only knowledge of Washington DC as a city comes from what I've seen in the show Veep and here's what it is: a lot of F-bombs, backstabbing and sweat. Why did they build the capital city of our nation on a swamp? This city/state thing probably deserves a lower grade because it's probably the hub for shay dealing but I remain neutral because of how funny I find Veep. #TeamMeyer
3. New York
Demonym: New Yorkers
NWLA Leagues: Too many for me to care about
NWLA Tournament Teams:
Famous Residents: Louis CK, Notorious BIG, Donald Trump
Famous TV Shows: Friends, Sex and the City, How I Met Your Mother
Overall Grade: B
New York as a state is a lovely blend of city and country. And snow up by Buffalo. I really have no desire to ever travel to NYC because I really hate city life and NYC is the epitome of that garbage. But I'm a big fan of the state overall. Mainly because Ryan Bush lives there but that's irrelevant.
NWLA Leagues: Too many for me to care about
NWLA Tournament Teams:
Famous Residents: Louis CK, Notorious BIG, Donald Trump
Famous TV Shows: Friends, Sex and the City, How I Met Your Mother
Overall Grade: B
New York as a state is a lovely blend of city and country. And snow up by Buffalo. I really have no desire to ever travel to NYC because I really hate city life and NYC is the epitome of that garbage. But I'm a big fan of the state overall. Mainly because Ryan Bush lives there but that's irrelevant.
2. Michigan
Demonym: Michiganders
NWLA Leagues: WSEM, KWL, Hickory WBL, MLW
NWLA Tournament Teams: WSEM, KWL
Famous Residents: Madonna, Eminem, Carl Coffee
Famous TV Shows: Weeds, Freaks and Geeks (watch it now.)
Overall Grade: A-
Michigan is a beautiful place (if you ignore what's been happening in Detroit, Flint and prolly other places..) but the wilderness there is super beautiful. I love woodsy settings, like Michigan and Minnesota, and I've often heard Michigan and Minnesota have similar climates. Plus it is home to arguably the best wiffleball league in the nation and one of, if not my favorite league to follow.
NWLA Leagues: WSEM, KWL, Hickory WBL, MLW
NWLA Tournament Teams: WSEM, KWL
Famous Residents: Madonna, Eminem, Carl Coffee
Famous TV Shows: Weeds, Freaks and Geeks (watch it now.)
Overall Grade: A-
Michigan is a beautiful place (if you ignore what's been happening in Detroit, Flint and prolly other places..) but the wilderness there is super beautiful. I love woodsy settings, like Michigan and Minnesota, and I've often heard Michigan and Minnesota have similar climates. Plus it is home to arguably the best wiffleball league in the nation and one of, if not my favorite league to follow.
1. Minnesota
Demonym: Minnesotans
NWLA Leagues: HRL, MNWA, Shed, Andover
NWLA Tournament Teams: HRL, MNWA
Famous Residents: Prince, The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, Bob Dylan (not as good as Prince)
Famous TV Shows: Fargo (don't get me started), The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Coach
Overall Grade: A+
If you began reading this article thinking any state but Minnesota would be #1, you're just naive and stupid. Minnesotans are incredibly prideful and this Minnesotan is no exception. We have thousands and thousands of lakes, we're the State of Hockey, and summertime is absolutely gorgeous. Are our sports teams good? No. Will they ever be good? No, except the Vikings. They are going to be very good this season and many seasons to come. We're an amazing place with nice people and nice views. Screw everyone else.
NWLA Leagues: HRL, MNWA, Shed, Andover
NWLA Tournament Teams: HRL, MNWA
Famous Residents: Prince, The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, Bob Dylan (not as good as Prince)
Famous TV Shows: Fargo (don't get me started), The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Coach
Overall Grade: A+
If you began reading this article thinking any state but Minnesota would be #1, you're just naive and stupid. Minnesotans are incredibly prideful and this Minnesotan is no exception. We have thousands and thousands of lakes, we're the State of Hockey, and summertime is absolutely gorgeous. Are our sports teams good? No. Will they ever be good? No, except the Vikings. They are going to be very good this season and many seasons to come. We're an amazing place with nice people and nice views. Screw everyone else.